elvis mcgonagall
> That Government Healthcare Policy In Full
> Carry On Up The Brexit
> Euro 2016 Haiku
> Narcissus In Bicycle Clips
> Cold Comfort
> Greece Is The Word
> Stop Yer Swithering Jock!
> Purbeck – The Enduring Isle
> Making Plans With Nigel
> No Regrets
> 53 Quid A Week
> A Bed At The Ritz
> Breaking News In Dorset Haiku
> If
> I Wanna Do The Continental
> The Queen's Speech
> An Analysis....
> You Can Call Me Dave
> Uisge Gu Leoir
> Let Them Eat Flake
> The Inexorable March of Western Cultural Hegemony
> Justice

The Long, Long, Long Goodbye

> This Land’s Not Your Land
> Turkey Shoot

A Game Of Two Halves

> Portrait Of The Hunger Artist
> Caveat Compotor
> Beale Haiku
> Bible Bashing

Pride & Prejudice
by Jane Austen-Powers (listen)


Christmas in the Country no. 1 (listen)

> I'm A Believer (listen)
> You Can Call Me Dave (listen)
> Jamie Oliver Twist (listen)

one man & his doggerel

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Elvis' first published poem written under a nom de plume for that august magazine "The Chap"


Caveat Compotor < back


From eau-de-vie to usquebaugh
Via Chateauneuf-du-pape
A snifter lets one’s spirit soar
It fortifies a chap

A snort, a drop, a dram, a nip
Is what the doc prescribed
Unless the tincture gives you gyp
And should never be imbibed

So when mine host says it’s your shout
Here’s a whisper to the wise
There’s a green moonshine one can do without
For that way madness lies

This wormwood grog scrubs out the brain
Fries talent to mirepoix
Many a Manet has gone down the drain
It sent Degas ga-ga

Chosen gargle of the aesthete
Its dangers - manifest
Toulouse Lautrec shrunk by two feet
Van Gogh’s left ear went west

It tastes of petrol and polo-mints
It is a poisoned chalice
It makes this seasoned tippler wince
“Beware Absinthe of Malice”

copyright elvis mcgonagall, 2003
Words © Elvis McGonagall 2009-2016 | photographs © Joss Barratt & Tineke de Lange | All rights reserved | site design by michelle abadie web design