elvis mcgonagall
> That Government Healthcare Policy In Full
> Carry On Up The Brexit
> Euro 2016 Haiku
> Narcissus In Bicycle Clips
> Cold Comfort
> Greece Is The Word
> Stop Yer Swithering Jock!
> Purbeck – The Enduring Isle
> Making Plans With Nigel
> No Regrets
> 53 Quid A Week
> A Bed At The Ritz
> Breaking News In Dorset Haiku
> If
> I Wanna Do The Continental
> The Queen's Speech
> An Analysis....
> You Can Call Me Dave
> Uisge Gu Leoir
> Let Them Eat Flake
> The Inexorable March of Western Cultural Hegemony
> Justice

The Long, Long, Long Goodbye

> This Land’s Not Your Land
> Turkey Shoot

A Game Of Two Halves

> Portrait Of The Hunger Artist
> Caveat Compotor
> Beale Haiku
> Bible Bashing

Pride & Prejudice
by Jane Austen-Powers (listen)


Christmas in the Country no. 1 (listen)

> I'm A Believer (listen)
> You Can Call Me Dave (listen)
> Jamie Oliver Twist (listen)

one man & his doggerel

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An extended metaphor for a self-perpetuating oligarchy. Or a pointless rant. Whichever you prefer.

A Game Of Two Halves < back


Let's make poverty history
Let's be a force for good
Let's re-distribute all the wealth
Let's be like Robin Hood
Let's have no more paupers
Let's eradicate the rich
Let's empty out the bank account
Of Roman Abramovich
Let's syphon off his profits
Let's overthrow the petrol tsar
Let's give all his roubles back
To the workers of the USSR
Let's ask Jose Mourinho
"What's the Portuguese for poor?"
Let's cut his Amex card in two
Let him manage Stenhousemuir
Let's shove Sky TV where The Sun don't shine
Let Rupert Murdoch's empire fall
Let's reclaim the people's game
Let's take back our ball
Let's drop Ashley Cole down a deep dark hole
'Til he agrees that greed is wrong
Then we'll pay him 60 grand a week -
in Vietnamese dong
Let's kidnap Malcolm Glazer
Singing "Soccer's going gnome!"
Let's bastardise his merchandise
Let's sell The Bobby Charlton Comb
Let's raid Wayne Rooney's piggy bank
Let's put him in a fucking rage
Let's make him work with Gordon Fucking Ramsay
For the minimum fucking wage
Let’s make Manchester City play on camels
In the sandstorms of Abu Dhabi
Let Ronaldo pay for his hair gel
By slaving as a cabby
Let's stop spending money on swede FA
Let Sven Goran Eriksson disappear
Let's fold him up in a flatpack
Let's stack him on a shelf in Ikea
Let's find a check-out job at Tesco's
For Rio Ferdinand
Let's stick his mercenary contract
Up his Rio Grande
Let's ransack Beckingham Palace
Let's give their bling to charity
Let's burn the mock-tudor mansions
Of football's aristocracy
Let's drive their Baby Bentleys
Over Beachy Head
Let's de-rail their gravy train
Let them take the bus instead
Let's ignore their tabloid sex romps
And champagne charlie songs
Let's dismiss their Double-D-list wives
In permatans and Prada thongs
Let the VIPs drink Bovril
Let their seats be cold and hard
Let's rip up their red carpet
Let's show them the red card
Let's wind up Football plc
Let's give the board P45's
Let's stop fat corporate bastards
Eating all the pies
Let's kick-off the revolution
Let have-nots have the final score
Let's hear "Manchester United nil
Partick Thistle 4"
Let's invest Das Kapital
Let's end left-wing fatigue
Then poverty will be history
When there's a socialist premier league

copyright elvis mcgonagall, 2005

Words © Elvis McGonagall 2009-2016 | photographs © Joss Barratt & Tineke de Lange | All rights reserved | site design by michelle abadie web design