elvis mcgonagall
> Carry On Up The Brexit
> Euro 2016 Haiku
> Narcissus In Bicycle Clips
> Cold Comfort
> Greece Is The Word
> Stop Yer Swithering Jock!
> Purbeck – The Enduring Isle
> Making Plans With Nigel
> No Regrets
> 53 Quid A Week
> A Bed At The Ritz
> Breaking News In Dorset Haiku
> If
> I Wanna Do The Continental
> The Queen's Speech
> An Analysis....
> You Can Call Me Dave
> Uisge Gu Leoir
> Let Them Eat Flake
> The Inexorable March of Western Cultural Hegemony
> Justice

The Long, Long, Long Goodbye

> This Land’s Not Your Land
> Turkey Shoot

A Game Of Two Halves

> Portrait Of The Hunger Artist
> Caveat Compotor
> Beale Haiku
> Bible Bashing

Pride & Prejudice
by Jane Austen-Powers (listen)


Christmas in the Country no. 1 (listen)

> I'm A Believer (listen)
> You Can Call Me Dave (listen)
> Jamie Oliver Twist (listen)

one man & his doggerel

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Carry On Up The Brexit < back


Roll over Napoleon, sod-off Adolf Caesar
You’re not grinning anymore Mona Lisa
Listen to the words of Mother Theresa
Brexit means Brexit

Shoot yourself in the foot, throw dust in your eye
Jump off a cliff, plucky Englishmen can fly
Smack yourself in the face with a custard pie
Brexit means Brexit

Flat-pack furniture without instructions
A vacuum-cleaner without any suction
Sherlock Holmes without deductions
Brexit means Brexit

Building sandcastles in the pissing rain
The people chose sandcastles - don’t complain
Bucket, spade, anorak - soak up the pain
Brexit means Brexit

Pull up the drawbridge, fortify the shores
Turn back the clock, lock all the doors
Spotted dick, scurvy, saloon bar bores
Brexit means Brexit

Give two fingers to the liberal elite
Make the cosmopolitan obsolete
Ignore expertise, idiocracy’s sweet
Brexit means Brexit

Repel the migrant armada, be prepared
Let their jungle burn, watch them running scared
Leave them all abandoned dans la merde
Brexshit means Brexshit

Jettison strangers, paddle your own canoe
Shout slitty-eyed abuse at Mr Wu
Send Paddington Bear back to darkest Peru
Brexit means Brexit

Replace the Pound with the Marmite Jar
Export Chelsea buns to Shangri-la
Sell Windsor Castle to Lady Gaga
Brexit means Brexit

Pay no heed to the hairy men in kilts
Be British, walk tall - like a corgi on stilts
Set fire to your continental quilts
Brexit means Brexit

Don’t panic, keep calm, take control, sieg heil!
Don’t mention the war, ha-ha, crack a smile
Laugh at Ed Balls dancing Gangnam Style
Brexit means Brexit

No openly gay Olympic fencing judges
No moaning metrosexuals bearing grudges
No benefit scroungers on cardboard crutches
Brexit means Brexit

Nil points Eurovision nobby-no-mates
Wave your pom-poms for Forrest Trump’s Disunited States
Life’s not a box of Belgian choc-o-lates
Brexit means Brexit

Feed your French croissant to the budgerigar
Stick a Danish pastry up your Nordic noir
Full English fry-up sir? Hip-hip-hoorah
Breakfast means Breakfast

Walk upon these pastures green at last set free
Land of mighty leylandii and clotted cream tea
Sing Agadoo, push pineapple, shake the tree
Brexit means Brexit

Whack yourself round the head with a frying pan
Can you beat yourself senseless? Yes you can
More Viagra Nigel? That’s a cunning plan
Hard Brexit means Hard Brexit

Claim Titanic success, drown in ticker-tape
Get your trumpet out, play “The Great Escape”
Float off into the sunset, sinking ship shape
Brexit means We Are Fucked

copyright elvis mcgonagall, 2016

Words © Elvis McGonagall 2009-2016 | photographs © Joss Barratt & Tineke de Lange | All rights reserved | site design by michelle abadie web design