elvis mcgonagall
> Cold Comfort
> Greece Is The Word
> Stop Yer Swithering Jock!
> Purbeck – The Enduring Isle
> Making Plans With Nigel
> No Regrets
> 53 Quid A Week
> A Bed At The Ritz
> Breaking News In Dorset Haiku
> If
> I Wanna Do The Continental
> The Queen's Speech
> An Analysis....
> You Can Call Me Dave
> Uisge Gu Leoir
> Let Them Eat Flake
> The Inexorable March of Western Cultural Hegemony
> Justice
>

The Long, Long, Long Goodbye

> This Land’s Not Your Land
> Turkey Shoot
>

A Game Of Two Halves

> Portrait Of The Hunger Artist
> Caveat Compotor
> Beale Haiku
> Bible Bashing
>

Pride & Prejudice
by Jane Austen-Powers (listen)

>

Christmas in the Country no. 1 (listen)

> I'm A Believer (listen)
> You Can Call Me Dave (listen)
> Jamie Oliver Twist (listen)

ELVIS MCGONAGALL
one man & his doggerel

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Let Them Eat Flake

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Opal Fruits - not “Starbursts”! Treets - not “M&Ms”!
A Marathon is not a “Snickers Bar”!
Uncle Joe’s Mintballs to “Krafty” Uncle Sam
Shut the lid on our nation’s sweetie jar!

Yes a man’s gotta chew what a man’s gotta chew -
Highland Toffee, Jelly Babies, Twix
Now it’s crunchie time for every fruit ‘n nut case -
Beware! Bounty hunters in our pick ‘n mix!

Because a finger of fudge is just not enough
For the City boys’ sticky fingered pillage
Singing Yankee doodle dollar candy’s dandy
Waving stars ‘n stripes over Bourneville village

Chunky chocolate cowboys have shot the Milk Tray Man
Cup hands - there goes Cadburys way out west
Golden tickets go to boardroom Willy Wonkas
It’s come up roses for the bankers who know best

They’ve got the oompa-loompas by the curly wurlies
Ain’t no picnic on the factory floor
The Billy Bunter fat cats get all the creme eggs
But if you work for buttons – there’s the door

So let’s keep the family silver in the family
Scoff the last Rolo before it melts away
Let’s revel in proud Albion’s confectionery
It’s made British teeth what they are today

copyright elvis mcgonagall for bbc radio 4 “saturday live”, 2010

 

Words © Elvis McGonagall 2009-2015 | photographs © Joss Barratt & Tineke de Lange | All rights reserved | site design by michelle abadie web design