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Ode Tae Laphroaig

The “How-Do-You-Pronounce-It?” malt
Wi’ which some Sassenachs find fault
Aw’ storm-lashed-sea-spray-smoky-salt
Let’s exalt Laphroaig

Islay rain on heather, moss and grass
Through kiln ‘n cask, frae grain tae glass
A snort, a drop, a dram o’ class
Crack open the Laphroaig

A richt rambusteous “amber bead”
No yin fur faintheart or weak-kneed
A muckle skelp aboot the heid
Pure radge that Laphroaig

Uisge beathe - nae moonshine booze
The nectar that the angels choose
Ambrosia, immortal muse
Bottled poetry Laphroaig

In seven pot stills by the ocean
Liquid joy, sweet peaty potion
A burning kiss of deep devotion
Ooh la la Laphroaig

More va-va-voom than Fittipaldi
Vivacissimo like Vivaldi
C’mon barman – gie’ it laldy!
Make mine a large Laphroaig

Reek o’ bonfire, smoulderin’ coal
Raw spirit for the weary soul
All fine physicians should extol
A wee swally o’ Laphroaig

Tastebuds flyin’ as high as a kite
Brain burstin’ oot in fairy lights
A deoch-an-doris tae cap the night
Just wan more Laphroaig

Queen o’ the Hebrides’ golden tears
Distillation o’ two hundred years
Skal, Prost, Salud, Kampei, Cheers
Slainte-mhath! Laphroaig!

copyright elvis mcgonagall, 2015
for laphroaig whisky

(A video of this poem can be seen here)